Dear CBS, Bari Weiss, Larry Ellison & Larry Ellison’s son

It’s me again… Captain Blakeroo.

You may remember me from my last 26 submission tapes. Don’t worry. I think I’ve finally found the magic formula to rebuild your entire late night lineup.

You see, the problem with the world as I see it (and as I now understand… you see it, too)  isn’t politics, or any given problem like homelessness, AIDS, fentanyl, immigrants, food insecurity, or all the other basic hemorrhoids of life… It’s kids, the idiot kids, and the idiot parents who raise them… and teach them about sharing and being kind and polite and all that other idealistic bullshit.

I say, where are the lessons on greed and graft and shiving the common man when he least expects it? We need to be punching down more and laughing at the unfortunate.

In Gordon Gecko’s immortal words, Greed is Good. Balderdash! GREED IS GREAT!

What I have here for you is a nightly show, a nightly lesson, a nightly focus on what the real world is all about.

These will be lessons for the kids and the parents that teach universal truths, the kind of message that the Buddha would never say out loud… but is probably always thinking… It’s about me. Because, let’s be honest…are there any communists hanging around on payday?

Long live the greed, the grift & the graft, and, of course, the almighty stock market.